tonight i humiliated myself for extra credit- four of us dressed up as can-can dancers and did the worst approximation of a can-can ever seen.  it was kind of funny really, and yet at the same time soo embaressing.  it's foreign language week or when people try to scrape together enough extra credit to pass french 3 or latin 2or spanish 4 or german( but i don't think it's a real language).  German is evil because Goethe, the author of Faust, like his name is really pronounced Gur-ta.  it's bizarre. yayy humanities and random information!  we get to read crime and punishment soon which will be a laugh riot i'm sure.

the last complete book we read was Candide, by Voltaire, which was just sex, violence, and euneuchs.  How do those three things come together in one book, you ask, because obviously eunuchs can't have sex.  the eunuchs are just sprinkled in to make the main characters appreciate what sex they're getting.  And if you ever get lost, the pictures will help illustrate the point.

Somehow i think that crime and punishment will be a little different.  the first time i tried reading work by a russian author( i was bored- really bored) i wound up like really traumatized.  I started Lolita, which is a scary book whose first chapter is a pedophile explaining his fascination with twelve year old girls.  yuk

it's just weird because i think that the first years of  being a teenager is the worst.  you're all <yay >double digits and then you're like, <oh shit> training bras and crushes and acting like a fool

but as we proved tonight, even when you get to be out of the first horror years, you still wind up looking like a fool

i havent been on in a while because i've been hiding from the thirty plus college emails- curse the evil collegeboard!  I haven't been doing that much lately, been feeling kind of sick- physically and just sick of school.  I really like the art project i'm doing now, and i kind of want to submit it to a contest but i'm not sure it'll be done in time.  we just had to do these weird projects in class where we had to make a visual representation of our soul and it was kind of really creepy.  I think we've determined that about half the class needs therapy.  We had an assorted collection of sexual assualts, family members with cancer and one seventh cousin incident.  It's like whoa, where was i when this happened?  of course everyone's friends already knew most of the stuff being said but for the rest of the class, and the teachers it was all revelations.  the worst was when people cried while presenting, and then had to the the walk of shame back to your seat.  this was basically when all your well meaning classmates try to cheer you up with pats on the back,etc., but it is more like humiliation- at least to me.  but i dont really like communicating my feelings.  yeah for internaliazing your emotions!

it's post valentine's day, otherwise known as chocolate hangover day.  it's fun at school to see the tough football players or goth types carrying around big teddy bears and balloons.  it's a little depressing to be alone on Valentine's day but when people are like 'im going to slit my wrists because im all alone on V-day" boo hoo.  i'm bored with having to go to school and be awake.  im feeling a little weird because i have a temperature but it's only a little one so i dont get to stay home from school.  which i really want to do because we have to present on our science projects which is really stupid b/c most of us made our projects up, so we have no idea of what we're talking about.  i also feel really stupid b/c the drama teacher came into our french class and convinced us to try this thing which turned out to be a web scam thing so now i feel really stupid.  But I feel that all the time, b/c i blush when i get embarresed and then i get embarresed b/c i'm blushing and people tell me that i'm blushing so i blush some more. my life is one humiliation after another